Reviews
Jingle Bell Heist
Every year it feels like streaming services pump out more Christmas films and heist capers than anyone could reasonably keep up with, so it should come as no surprise that Netflix has mashed the two genres together once again. Tis the season after all. Aptly titled Jingle Bell Heist, the film at least lets audiences know exactly what they are in for, and let us be honest, it was only a matter of time before movies like this became a yearly inevitability. With viewing figures almost guaranteed to rise thanks to Netflix’s “genius” pre-Thanksgiving release strategy, do not be surprised if more films follow and prove just as eye rolling as Jingle Bell Heist.
The movie follows Sophia (Olivia Holt), an American in London struggling to make ends meet while her mother lies perilously ill in hospital and requires private and expensive healthcare if she has any hope of survival. Sophia juggles several low paying jobs, including one at the high end department store Sterling’s, which I can only assume is meant to resemble somewhere like Harrods, yet none of them come close to covering her mother’s bills. Having already stolen cash from the lost and found at Sterling’s, Sophia encounters a far more dangerous opportunity when she crosses paths with computer fixer and former criminal Nick (Connor Swindells).
We initially get no background on Nick. We first meet him as he somehow already has access to every camera in Sterling’s, including the feed from the merchandise locker where he witnessed Sophia stealing the cash. It later becomes clear that he installed the security systems at Sterling’s and was previously accused of stealing from the store, so naturally they have kept the same systems in place (insert eyeroll here). Nick is also barely scraping by in a dead end job, so he decides to blackmail Sophia into joining him in his next heist. If she refuses, he threatens to hand the CCTV footage over to Maxwell Sterling (Peter Serafinowicz), the cartoonish villain and owner of the store, with the promise that both of them will have enough to cover their respective bills. It sounds farfetched, yet that is probably too generous. A mess is a far more fitting description for Jingle Bell Heist.
As their initial plan unravels, the film throws in twists and turns, each one more eye rolling and generic than the last, particularly the way the pair discover Maxwell Sterling’s fortune in his personal safe. As Jingle Bell Heist drags toward its painfully predictable finale, riddled with coincidences and nonsensical drama, which proves just as forgettable as the rest of the movie, there is an overwhelming sense that the audience’s time has been completely wasted. Nothing new or remotely interesting happens along the way, and many of the film’s swings and ultimate misses fall at the feet of first time scriptwriter Abby McDonald. Unfortunately, she is not helped by lacklustre directing from Michael Fimognari in what is yet another straight-to-streaming slop-filled heist movie that does nothing to justify its existence.
There are feeble attempts at striking emotional tones scattered throughout the poor core. Had there been any character development surrounding Sophia’s relationship with her mother or Nick’s relationship with his family, they may have worked, but the astounding lack of development leaves them flat as a pancake. And do not even get me started on the forced romantic vibes. The lack of chemistry between the leads is astonishing and is the most unbelievable element of the entire film, and that is saying something.
I would love to say that Olivia Holt and Connor Swindells are innocent and undoubtedly dealt a cursed hand from the start, but even with poor material a strong performance can provide some enjoyment and in some cases elevate the material ever so slightly. I would be lying if I said their performances added anything remotely memorable. Both have proven, even this year, that they are very talented and capable of lifting weaker scripts, Holt especially with Heart Eyes, so seeing them reduced to this level is one of the most disappointing aspects of the entire movie.
One of my biggest gripes with the film is that, being a Brit myself and now living in America, I expected a taste of home when I saw it was set at Christmas time in London. Instead, within the first few jarring scenes and throughout the runtime, the script was filled with Americanisations and traditions that only make sense on the other side of the Atlantic. To some viewers that may be a minor flaw or go completely unnoticed, but for me the heavy Americanisation that has crept into so many straight-to-streaming releases this year has become tiresome and quite frankly lazy, with Jingle Bell Heist being the worst offender so far.
Going into Jingle Bell Heist I did not expect much. My biggest hope was that it would be similar to A Merry Little Ex-Mas from earlier this month in being so bad that it is good and could provide an entertaining time at home. Instead, it is undoubtedly one of the worst movies of the year with nothing remotely redeemable. Do yourself a favour this Thanksgiving and check out one of the much better and more enjoyable films at the cinema.
