Reviews
The Family Plan 2
Unnecessary sequels have become an unfortunate fact of Hollywood life, so it is no surprise that the dreaded sequelitis bug has now infected Apple TV with its latest straight to streaming release The Family Plan 2. To be fair to Apple, the original Family Plan somehow became the most streamed film on the platform, so of course they were going to milk that cow dry. However, considering how mediocre the first entry already was, expectations heading into a follow up that I am almost certain nobody asked for were as low as they could possibly be.
The original was as run of the mill as action comedies come, with a super secret assassin trying to live a normal life. We have all seen that sort of premise play out countless times. With director Simon Cellan Jones and screenwriter David Coggeshall returning, the bland production and painfully flat humour of the first film were practically guaranteed to reappear. And credit where it is due, because there will not be many chances to give it, Jones and Coggeshall stay very much on brand. The sequel is every bit as generic as the original. In a twisted way, they have delivered exactly what anyone would expect.
The Family Plan 2 begins with the death of Dan Morgan’s father McCaffrey (Ciaran Hinds), who served as the antagonist in the previous film. Dan (Mark Wahlberg) is still attempting to adjust to life as a committed husband to Jessica (Michelle Monaghan) while also acting as an overbearing parent to his sons Kyle (Van Crosby) and Max as well as his daughter Nina (Zoe Colletti). Nina has at least managed to escape his constant supervision by spending a study year abroad in London. Not willing to accept a Christmas apart, Dan hand picks a client, more on that shortly, who happens to be based in London in order to ensure the Morgan Family Christmas takes place after all. One quick flight later the plan is in motion, although only after a painfully awkward naked encounter with Nina’s new boyfriend Omar (Reda Elazouar).
This brings us to Dan’s conveniently selected client. Enter Finn (Kit Harington), the film’s antagonist and, to absolutely nobody’s surprise given the clue in the title, a secret member of the Morgan family. He is the estranged child of Dan’s father and the housekeeper. Finn has world ending daddy issues and intends to steal the family fortune, which is stored on McCaffrey’s home server. He manipulates Dan into stealing the key needed to access the computer, giving him the chance to begin his revenge on the half brother he believes stole their father’s affections. He is fully intent on destroying Dan’s life.
From that point onward I would love nothing more than to say the film becomes an unpredictable thrill ride, but that would be a complete lie. Every supposed twist can be spotted from a mile away, and it is the same worn out path the genre has walked down countless times with nothing new to add. And since we are on the topic of paths, there is of course a high speed chase through busy city streets, something that has been replicated in so many action comedies that it barely registers anymore. It almost feels as if the film is trying to be as generic as possible on purpose simply because it already leans so heavily into every tired trope.
And that is all before the most predictable finale you are likely to see this year. I do not know what it is with Hollywood, but the moment a computer appears there absolutely must be a USB stick containing a devastating world ending virus, and The Family Plan 2 is no exception. The pain staking tapping on the laptop keyboard also makes an appearance. I can honestly imagine the storyboard for this film being a ChatGPT printout of the most textbook action comedy imaginable, and the filmmakers have dutifully ticked every box. In a strange way, achieving something this thoroughly cliche becomes almost impressive.
Just like in the original, you hear the word comedy and expect at least a few laughs, but once again those laughs are noticeably absent. However, when it comes to the action scenes, these are perhaps the strongest element on offer. Absurd locations aside, they are surprisingly well choreographed and provide the bulk of whatever entertainment the film manages to deliver, even if you find yourself simply enduring the surrounding scenes to reach the next burst of action.
While The Family Plan 2 may be an unnecessary and entirely unwarranted sequel, I will give it this much credit. You are never going to be bored. Despite the basic slop it serves up most of the time, it does not pretend to be anything more than it is or insult the intelligence of its audience. It is a relatively inoffensive watch that works well enough as background entertainment, and it is a slight improvement over the original. Given that my expectations were practically underground, I will take what I can get and call that a positive.
